


Rainyday

by littlebadlei



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-21 13:37:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2470187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebadlei/pseuds/littlebadlei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I let myself dive in to the warmth and let my mouth say whatever I really felt than what I really should have said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rainyday

It is raining, but inside this apartment, it's really quiet. I'm sitting on my bed, listening all the sounds and letting my eyes wander around my own bedroom, maybe trying to find something new or interesting.

Time goes by and nothing has changed. I still sit here, doing nothing. Am I waiting for something to happen? Maybe. I don't know. I don't actually understand much right now. Ever since that day, everything has blurred all together and it's hard to understand everything. I'm not sure if I have gone to work in these past couple days, or have I eaten anything, or drank. Also, have I gone to the toilet? I hope so... I don't want to be sitting here on my shit. But – I lean my head against a wall behind me and watch out from the window to the sky – it's hard to get up and do something.

After an hour of watching the clouds moving on the blue sky, I hear my phone ringing. I automatically reach for it, but in slow motion, like you see in the movies, since I'm lazy and tired. The ringing ends before the phone is perfectly on my hand and I turn it to see who called. I inhale sharply as I see the name.

It's been... how long has it been? One? or two days now from that day, when I messed everything up? How is he? Is he eating well? Sleeping? Is someone looking after him? Well, there doesn't have to be anyone since he is more than 30 years old already, but... I usually take care of him, so... since I haven't done that for these couple of days, I hope someone is... well I'm sure Sho or Jun have taken care of him.

I really want to know how he is. I want to call and ask. I also want to hear his voice, his beautiful and calm voice. I've always loved it. His singing voice is just pure heaven to me.  
I want to see him. I want to see and hug him, to know that he's fine and alive. But... I can't. I messed everything up! I know he doesn't even want to see my face after what I did. It's actually a surprise that he even called me. Maybe someone forced him to call me. That sounds more reasonable... no one would call to someone you never want to meet again. And I can see the scene of Aiba forcing him to take the phone and call.

Sighing, my shoulders are slumping. I knew, I shouldn't have any hopes, but still my heart grew a beam of hope as I saw the the name of the caller. Who would call after a person, who's a disgusting weirdo, who also broke their cute and really close friendship? No one. At least no one, who still had their mentality in good condition.

I'm still holding the phone in my hands as I think about these things. My grip tightens when the feelings start to become overwhelming and the doors, that are keeping them all away from a public eye, with couple of locks, start shaking. The first locks are already crumbling to the ground as the memories of that stupid moment comes to my mind.

The moment where I let my guard slip for a moment and let myself melt by the stare of the older man's beautiful and warm dark brown eyes. I let myself dive in to the warmth and let my mouth say whatever I really felt than what I really should have said.

I can feel the water streaming down my eyes as I think of the face after those sinful words. Those words that broke that friendship we had. And that face.... oh, how that expression haunts me. I still remember the feeling of my heart dropping to the bottom of my stomach, as I stared that expression. And the way I started to panic and casually say that everything was a joke, a big bad joke. But I knew that he didn't believe me. Well fuck, even I wouldn't believe my words. The way I said them and the way my voice wavered, it was so easy to see how much it really did mean to me, so I just ran away. I couldn't find any other way that would have been better than running away from the moment. I'm coward, I know. But fuck it! Who wouldn't continue to stare and not show how much it affects you, hurts you.

I close my eyes and try to breath slowly. After couple of minutes, my breathing is normal and my hands don't shake anymore. I take two big breaths before I open my eyes.

That's the past – I think – and I can't do anything about it anymore. I look at my phone and then throw it to the other end of my bed. As it thuds down, I close my eyes, thinking of having a small nap, since I'm feeling quite worn out.

When I'm starting go towards dream land and letting the real world and my bed slip away from my brain, the phone starts to ring again. Being woken up from my 'almost got that warmth around me and that lovely kiss' dream, I fly to the phone, ready to swear at the caller to the bottom of hell. Once I grab the hold of it, I press the phone to my ear, already opening my mouth to let the first curses out, as I hear my name being said by the beautiful voice I have always loved. I freeze. The angelic voice repeats my name a couple of times as my brain starts to function again.

Fuck... I forgot to check who was calling. - I curse in my head as I swallow a big lump from my throat. He called me - no – he's calling me – I think and I can feel the beam of hope growing inside my heart each second as well as I can feel my cheeks getting hotter.

”Oh-chan,” I whisper in amaze, stopping the other in the middle of my name. There is a small silence, before I hear a small sigh of relief. I keep my mouth shut, waiting for the older man to say something first.

After minute of silence, the older man speaks again and that one word releases all the air, which I didn't know I was holding, out of my lungs.

”Kazu.”

The intensity, the power, the words, the feelings, everything. You could hear everything from that single word. I can hear the words, all those spoken and unspoken words between us. All the feelings, the ones that I've known before but also the new ones. Ones that I didn't know before. All from my name. My name. I choke, as I understand all of it. As I feel it. It's so powerful, that it would be a miracle not to recognize it.

I was so blown by the call of that name, that I didn't hear any other sounds, so I was surprised when I hear my door bell suddenly. I get up from my bed and run to the door, almost tripping on my own legs, which is weird since I'm not clumsy like Aiba, before I even thought twice about it. And when I finally open the door, I freeze. My left hand on the door knob, right hand still holding the phone next to my ear and my eyes and mouth hanging wide open as I stare at the unexpected visitor. My eyes wander around his handsome face and finally catches his beautiful eyes. As I looked at them, I am locked by the stare and not having any chance to look away. Then I hear the words, straight to my ears, through the phone.

”I love you.”

And I fall to the ground as my legs give away and tears start rolling down from my eyes, making my face look terrible and all messed up. The older man kneels in front of me, closing his phone and taking my face between his graceful hands. He makes me look at him, straight to his eyes again, as he continues.

”I Love You, Kazunari”

And he leans forward, capturing my lips betweed his. And oh my god, It feels like heaven and home. It is totally sweet, slow and light, but still so lovely, powerful and warm. Heavenly and safe. And the cold feeling, I get as he backs away a little, makes me already shiver and yearn for that warmth once again.

I open my eyes slowly, to see those beautiful warm dark brown eyes, an inch away from my face, which holds so much of love that I can feel my heart burst with joy. I raise my hands to cover his and smile to him, as I finally say the same words that I said a of couple days ago, but now with all the feelings I had for the other one.

”I love you too, Satoshi”

And kiss him hard on the lips, again and again.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to my lovely dear [oneterrorist](http://oneterrorist.livejournal.com) for betaing this for me, even though she's busy <3 kisses and huggies for you!  
> also, just to remind you, english is not my first nor second language... comments would be awesome :3


End file.
